Today is the first day since my husband’s suicide that I experienced the witness in my meditation. For the past eight months, I have experienced only an ongoing struggle with anger, tears, and racing thoughts that were intractable to say the least.
If I were an enlightened being whose practice had taken me to a level where I no longer held any attachments, perhaps it would have taken less time to reach this stage. But I am not an enlightened being. I am an ordinary person dealing with ordinary life and grieving the loss of someone I loved in the best way I know how.
To this point, I have tried mostly to be compassionate with myself and to allow room for the grieving process. This meant letting some overwhelming feelings exist in their extreme form for a while. The best I could do was refrain from feeding any additional energy into them.
At long last, the extreme feelings have settled into more manageable moments of thought. Now, when thoughts arise about incredibly painful aspects of my husband’s death, I can breathe with the pain and let go of the storyline. I feel myself becoming closer to forgiveness for both him and myself, though I know it will still take time.
It does not matter how slow a bunny goes, as long as she keeps hopping.
While I’m not sure today’s experience is quite cause for celebration, I would say I think it is a sign of healing. I know the experience of losing my husband will color the rest of my life, but it doesn’t have to dictate the rest of my life. I will take this small sign of health as a signal that I am heading in the right direction and as motivation to keep on hopping.
“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
– Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
Thank you to Theresa L. for capturing this pic of her lovely little Brownie in a quiet moment of bunniness. This pic is a great reminder that we can’t keep going all the time. Sometimes we need to slow down, take a few deep breaths, and experience the healing power of silence.
Today’s moment of bunniness comes to us from Brianne G. and her angel bun, Keiko. Keiko’s pic is perfect to go along with a Bunny Buddhism quote that is very near and dear to my heart right now. It is a dark time in my life, no doubt, and I have to keep reminding myself not to sit and wallow in the darkness. I am still alive, with many beautiful moments of light to come, as long as I am willing to watch for them. Thanks, Keiko, for the reminder–I definitely needed it!
From the first day they met Bellatrix, Callie and her husband, Dave, knew she was a special bun. They got her when she was a wee little bun and quickly bonded her to a little blond lop named Voldemort. Bellatrix and Voldemort became fast friends and loved each other dearly.
For such a little bun, Bellatrix was unusually strong and had an enormous amount of life and spirit. She loved to chase Callie and Dave so she could groom them and give them bunny kisses. And she still had plenty more affection to offer her bunny companion, Voldemort.
Sadly, Bellatrix developed head tilt and many other medical complications early in life. Callie and Dave did their best to support her with vet trips, syringe feedings, medications, and lots and lots of love. Despite their best efforts, though, Bellatrix passed on when she was only eight months old.
Remarkably, Callie found her way through the pain that always accompanies such a loss and was able to find some inspiration. From the experience of caring for Bellatrix, Callie learned to love a special needs bunny, and she knows how many more of them are out there looking for forever homes. She hopes to open her heart and home to another special needs bun at some point soon.
In the end, Callie says she takes great comfort in knowing Bellatrix is binkying her heart out in the great beyond, free of all the physical limitations that held her back on this earth.
Well, Callie, I also find your story inspiring. Bellatrix was clearly a master of bunniness with a staggering amount of love to offer. Thank you so much for sharing your story. May you continue to heal from your grief and find ways to help the bunnies who need it most.
Looking for more inspiring bunny stories? Try these:
With special thanks to Donna W., today we have a heartwarming story and a double dose of bunniness.
Like so many bunny lovers, Donna has experienced the heartbreak of losing a bunny. She had a bunny named Mr. Sparkle, who was “crazy and affectionate and silly.” They had a special bond and spent hours together on the floor. She would talk with him. He would snuggle with her. And often they would sit nose to nose.
Sadly, Mr. Sparkle left this world early and Donna was faced with a difficult and unexpected loss. Through her grief, Donna managed to find a greater appreciation for living each moment to the fullest. When she thinks of Mr. Sparkle now, she thinks, “the light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, and you have burned so very very brightly.”
As so many of us know, a bunny never truly leaves your heart and it can be difficult to welcome a new bunny after such a loss. But eight years after losing Mr. Sparkle, Donna welcomed the two adorable buns on this page into her home. She says Hazel and Fiver are “sweet and funny,” and she is enjoying getting to know their special bunny idiosyncrasies.
With deep respect for your loss, Donna, I commend you for finding the courage to open your heart to bunnies again. It takes a great deal of strength to do so, and I am sure you are reaping the rewards on a daily basis. May you, Hazel and Fiver share wonderful moments of bunniness for many years to come!
Sometimes, we all need a reminder that there is beauty in the world and that we are all part of that beauty. To remind us of this, here is the lovely Babs, decked out in her floral finest. She is delighted to share with us her message of beauty and her thoughts about how we can make our lives beautiful works of art. Thank you to Maria R. for this great photo!
Need an inspirational gift for someone on your holiday gift list?
Give the gift of bunniness with Bunny Buddhism: Hopping Along the Path to Enlightenment and get a free Bunny Buddhism quote keychain!
Here are the important details:
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How It Works
Buy the book through any bookseller between November 27, 2015 and December 15, 2015, then email a copy of your receipt and your mailing address to email@example.com.
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If you would like to buy a signed copy of the book or a limited edition Bunny Buddhism T-shirt, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. You will receive your free keychain and an additional Bunny Buddhism surprise! Sorry, at this time, T-shirts and signed books are US-only. (Keychains will ship worldwide.)